TV Junkies
by Crow Corleone
Summary: Space is a waste of summaries for bad commercial parodies featuring the Teen Titans . . .


TV Junkies

By Crow Corleone

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Thank you, Snealie, for having this idea. . . . It's all thanks to your Cinnamon Toast Crunch ad that I got this idea . . . Therefore as homage to Snealie . . .

"Noir has big, bulbous black eyes, but can he see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"

Heh heh heh. . . Anyways, there is only one 'These Black Eyes' reference, because I'm sure that half of yall haven't read it yet, and that certain one was my first commercial parody ever. . . yeah, that one will be denoted with a (TBE) next to it.

Some of these are basically the ones I posted on Space is a Waste. . .

I don't own those characters or any of the brands of which I'm making parodies of their commercials. . . yeah, anyways. . .

**_WARNING: THESE PARODIES HAVE BEEN WRITTEN WHILE THE AUTHOR WAS IN A DR. PEPPER INDUCED TRANCE. ANY SIGNS OF MANIACAL LAUGHING OR JUST PLAIN GENERAL HILARITY ARE NOT THE FAULT OF THE AUTHOR._**

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:Parody One:Geico

The Titans rushed to the scene of the crime just in time to see Slade. He crouched in a fighting pose, and the Titans all prepared themselves to go. Suddenly, he spoke.

"Titans, I have good news for you."

Robin, through clenched teeth, stated, "What is it?"

"I have killed everybody in this city except for you."

Beastboy looked confused.

"Dude, I thought you said you had good news."

Slade averted his gaze towards Beastboy.

"I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching to GEICO."

Titans all sweatdrop

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:Parody Two: Ovaltine

Slade: insert milk mustache, drunken grin, and thumbs up here.

More Ovaltine, please.

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:Parody Three: Perdue Chicken

Cyborg: Here at Titan's Tower, I wouldn't say that our team leader is obsessed with Slade.

Pan to Robin's room; newspaper clippings about Slade hanging from walls. Fade scene to Robin up late at night at a large computer, checking all the files the Titans had on Slade. Shot of Robin sitting in the evidence room and staring at Slade's mask. Switch to scene of Robin demolishing a dummy with Slade's mask painted on it.

Beastboy: He just likes to make sure that this city is safe from Slade ever since his apprenticeship . . . gets solemn . . . and Terra's"

Cyborg interrupts BB

Cyborg: Anywaaayyysss . . . Obsessed? No. He just likes to keep this city Slade-free.

Announcer: Robin; a (not quite) healthy obsession with Slade.

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:Parody Four: Lucky Charms

Dragonflare Addict (TBE): Somebody's stolen my Lucky Charms! . . . THERE THEY ARE!

camera pans to giggling kids holding Lucky Charms and skipping away from Dragonflare addict, who grabs gun.

DFA: **_REEEEEEEDDDDDD! _**grabs machine gun

**Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat-tat . . . **

Fade to DFA holding a bowl of lucky charms with mangled bodies of kids dangling from the wall behind him.

Dragonflare Addict: They're magically delicious!

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:Parody Five: Axe/Tag

Beastboy walked into the deodorant aisle while Jinx passes by, clueless. Beastboy looks around, and stops at the Axe/Tag shelf to spray some on himself.

Jinx stops where she is and smells the air . . .

Jinx/Starfire/Wonder Woman/ Black Canary/ Susan Storm/ Raven/ Terra/ Hawkgirl/ Supergirl/ Batgirl/ Zatanna/ She-Hulk/ other feminine superheroes tackle Beastboy.

"Dude. . . sweet."

Note: The makers of Axe/Tag body spray are not responsible for any superheroine dogpiles.

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:Parody Six: Antidrug commercials

Just tell them that you couldn't post the fanfic because you were getting high.

Bad commercial parodies; my anti drug

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Parody Seven: Philadelphia's Cream Cheese

Cyborg/Beastboy (to Raven): singing _Ohhhhhh__, Heaven. . . Must be missing an angel. . . _

Raven: Narrows eyes and frowns. Shoots bolts of energy at Beastboy and Cyborg, sending them flying, then passes Philedelphia Cream Cheese to Starfire.

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Parody Eight: fires a grappling hook and swings to another skyscraper while following Fang. Reaches into his utility belt and pulls out a fan of credit cards. He throws them in strategic spots and manages to trap Fang by eight of his ten limbs. Fang looks at the projectiles confusedly then quizzically looks over to Robin.

Fang: What in bloody hell are you doing!

Robin: smirks I just saved a boatload of money cause I went to up and cheesy grin towards camera

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Parody Nine: Serta

Sheep #1: Come on, you guys. I bet that Robin is having trouble sleeping.

sheep make their way to Robin's room to find him settling down to bed

Sheep #1: Hey, Robin! What's up?

Robin: Why are you here? I don't need you guys anymore.

All Sheep: Huh? What?

Robin: smiles and shakes his head, pointing to Serta insignia on mattress I just bought a Serta mattress, so I don't need you guys anymore.

Sheep #1: menacingly Oh Yeah?

Robin: Yeah.

sheep #2-102 jump out of his closet, each with a uniform and fan of birdarangs in their hoofs. (hooves?)

Robin sweatdrops

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Nine is a good number for me. . .

Anyways, well . . . uhh. . . thanks for reading . . . I guess.

Don't forget to review and tell me how bad (or good?) you thought it was. . .

- - Crow Corleone


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